Friday, September 16, 2011

Friar Duck

You've heard the stories of Robin Hood, and his obsequious partner Friar Tuck. But you may have missed an entire genre of famed fableism: the ultra-secret histories of the King of Kahana and his trusty Squire, Friar Duck. Little is known about that time in the histories, but the scribes of the age wrote of a time when men of low-ball volume would dare to undergo a quest in order to prove or find their manhood. Such quests unequivocally tested the mettle of hard men, and tested their might against such devious foes as Rotor, Sink, and African Swallows (the latter being the most dangerous of the three, especially when armed with coconuts).

In one such tale, the King and Squire were hard pressed with violent storms (okay, squalls) and had to hole up and be content with top-landing approaches, until a magical window appeared. There were previous attempts to cross the fabled bay, but until the window, all were for naught. This window, much like the rest of this tale, was a fanciful thing. Either the King and his Squire were able to discern the slight shift to 58 degrees, or they were able to push against the might of 68 degrees and overcome the Venturi. Either way, there was definitely magic involved. In a heroic effort, the Squire led the charge out amongst the rabble (straight off the tip of Kahana), charging dutifully out and out and out, while the King was taking a more direct approach to their destination.

Click here for full-screen version of this video!

The King and Squire arrived at the Crouching Lion (an ominous sounding location) almost together. The King battled valiantly with the Sirens of Rotor, Sink, and the Venturi (thankfully, the coconut-armed African Swallows were not in attendance this day), all the while dancing effortlessly on his steed, Speedbar. Friar Duck, meanwhile, battled to ensconce himself on the trail of his King. He worked his steed to a lather, but was unable to penetrate the depth of the Venturi. Patience, however, paid off. The Friar was able to work his way slowly through the Sirens, where the King had dashed his destrier. Eventually, having to press his mount, Full Bar, to the limit, the Squire Friar was able to shake off the last of the three Sirens and meet his King on the far side of the crossing.

There, they slew dragons and stuff; but that is an altogether different story …

Knights in Attendance: Ser Thom of the Sidehill, Ser Scott of the Svelte-wing, Ser Jim of the One Eye, Ser John of the Frosted Crotch, Ser Woody the Elastic, Ser Harvy the Jovial, Ser Larry of the too many Vowels; and two hedge knights Ser Sam of BC and Ser Hendrick of Japan.


JeffMc said...

Thumbs up for the Monty Python reference :)

Alex said...

An inspiring tale! I'll add today's pictures to this little yarn as soon as they're ready...

Alex said...

I added one pic, with more to come later this morning. Boy did I get some good ones! I love flying over there at that time of day with such a pretty wing to follow around!

Thom said...

What a tale, 'Friar Duck', I like it. I have lost my non-jobber status lately and it's killing me. I have to find comfort through the stories and for that I applaud you kind sir.

I had not looked to see the author prior to reading it and was pleasantly surprised. Duck you are a loquacious writer. I had to look up a few words.

Ok, now I want to know, how do I get on the King's entourage, I know throwing nuts was probably a black mark but I am willing to change. I too, need to Cross that Bay on a whim.

Great Spin on journey that you 2 have made into a street crossing. Good Job and Many more to come.

I thank thee again for my coffee read.

Thom said...

Oh, one other thing about Friar Duck. As the story goes Robin Hood's Friar had propensity for the distilled alcohols and had on obsession with cooking fine meats. I see many likenesses in this analogy.

Now, the King has 2 Earls and Friar. I really want to get on the blue-blood list, just hoping that it's not in the position of the Court Jester.