Wednesday, January 17, 2018

First Annual Boogaland Open

We are pleased to announce an exciting new annual competition for adventurous paraglider pilots! Join us for an event on what many imagine to be the most urban and overdeveloped island swarming with tourists, and prepare to plunge into a secret tropical heart of darkness! Plot your own course above the majestic peaks and sprawling jungles of our island’s deepest and most remote interior, a wild and ancient rain forest wilderness that is truly a land that time forgot. Very few pilots have dared to explore the air above these vast jungles, but that short roster includes a small number of bold pilots who have also explored the trackless terrain below the forest canopy, leaving us with legends of wings abandoned to the trees by some of these pioneers.

We have devised this novel event as a benefit project to increase our shared knowledge about this particular place, the most feared and least understood system of peaks and valleys on the island, soaked by frequent clouds and showers, and swirling with mysterious air currents. Explore these currents above deep verdant ravines shaded by the island’s tallest trees, thriving undisturbed since the dawn of time. Navigate around the thick mist hanging low over the peaks and explore new lines around hidden spines, finger ridges and box canyons. Dodge tour helicopters or surprise them with your sudden appearance from the mists.

Track logs will be analyzed by our scoring team with points awarded for the most time spent at the lowest points above unlandable terrain. Bonus points for pictures and GPS coordinates of legendary abandoned wings. Retrieves will be provided by a professional team of helicopter rescue personnel. Or for the most possible bonus points, hike out on your own from the deepest outlanding!

Lunches not included. Cell phone coverage not available. Fully charged radios and satellite tracking devices highly recommended. Also a hammock in case you need to spend the night. Price of entry is low: cold beverages for the organizers and volunteers. Prizes to be awarded at the end of the event, ranging from lasting glory in the annals of tropical cross country flying on a small island, to the boundless admiration of your peers, if you even have any. Dates to be determined soon. Get your gear ready now!

And just in case it’s not clear: this is a satirical event notice, crafted with love and fondness and the utmost respect for the flying and wilderness survival skills of certain adventurous local souls. You know who you are. Keep up the exploration, and the rest of us will continue to watch from the best seats in the house, repeating our familiar and safe XC routes and soaring peacefully in smooth ridge lift above our nice safe beach landings.


JK said...


firedave2 said...

Count me in, ready to go! All my gliders are broken, can I borrow someone’s?

JK really did some research back there. Without him who would know that little spine in the middle could be soarable. Great effort.

I have spent a fair bit of time back there myself and think I know where the lift dwells. I also know that the wind is stronger, getting out of Boogas you face a headwind going north towards Punaluu or east towards Waikane.

When getting low the fun level goes off the charts. Personally I prefer those bright green fern patches over trees, but that is assuming you have a choice.

I am looking forward to JK’s report.

sandy said...

3 hearty cheers for the local adventurous souls!!!!

They bring our dreams to life!

(and brush off the nightmares that would bedevil the rest of us)

Mike F said...

Glad you are okay JK.

Thom said...

They call it Booga booga land for a reason. There aint no way to come out of it good unless you trudge through it by air or land.

I have had the misfortune of being stuck in the cris cross finger rotor that this area is infamous for.

I went from makapuu along the back range. Was high and thought a quick crossing of this prehistoric area would be easy. Serveral tries towards Punaluu and a few back toward MPU resulted in thrashing and lower elevation. Feeling the inevitable pushed into Punaluu ridge. Almost landed on top of or in the belly of the Punaluu fingers and valleys. But luck would have it made it back to KNA to land on beach.

This area should be avoided unless conditions are right, elevation is beyond sick and you have all of your balls accounted for.

Seriously though if you are attempting the MPU to KNA or vice versa bring provisions, food, water, lighter etc. These areas are gnarly and not for the faint of heart.

Good job getting out of there JK.

Gravity said...

Lmao too unless we need to come get you. JK's amazing hike out out tops the list, but wait isn't that his 2nd rodeo in boogbooga land?
If your gonna attempt to cross the unforgiving boogabooga land at least bring your spot or Delorme so that the lazy beach soaring pilots can track your hike or crawl out of pig infested, jungle swamp, mosquito land while we sip our favorite adult beverages and wish we were there with you enjoying the adventure.
Go ahead JK, tell the masses how much fun you had getting home from boogabooga land?
Being that I have been hiking and rescuing pilots in the bush for the last 15 years I can tell you that at a minimum your gonna need the following to make your adventures in boogabooga land easier:
Full 100 oz. camelback
Spare radio battery's
Delorme or Spot
Tree rescue kit
Emergency blanket (ask Jorge how cold it gets on top of the mountain)
Snacks or food source
Dry socks
Tree saw
Signal mirror
1st aid kit or 3way bandage
Large trash bag to keep the glider backpack dry
Beer with portable cooler
Anything I miss?

Puka Wai said...

I read this disturbing tale yesterday and really needed to find a logical explanation for all this, just to be sure that all is still right in the world. Of course I found the key clue Here . Examining this flight one can an admirable xc during the first 2 hours from MPU to Punaluu, but then there was a serious glitch in the mental software, but I think I found the bug: the suicidal tendencies and palpable desperation evidenced by the last hour are clearly the result of emotional trauma suffered by someone who has spent too much time on an island whose name shall not be spoken. A pessimist banished to that place says "it can't get any worse than this!" An optimist would say "Yes it can!!!". And a true optimist like JK would set out to prove it!
JK, glad you made it out of there and congrats on a great 2 hour flight. Imagine, if you unraveled the last hour of the tracklog and laid it out on a more sane heading, you would have flown past Turtle Bay!